What Does It Feel Like? Because That’s Where We’re Starting.

What Does It Feel Like? Because That’s Where We’re Starting.

You know those days when life feels like it’s being run by a sleep-deprived intern who’s just pressing buttons and hoping for the best? Like somehow, your schedule, your emotions, and your sock drawer have all staged a coordinated rebellion?

Yeah. Same.

But here’s something I’ve come to believe—not from a self-help book or a TED Talk, but from walking across an entire country, touching two oceans, and then somehow managing to break my ankle back in real life (because the universe really said “plot twist!”)—life isn’t reacting to you. It’s reflecting you.

Not your calendar.

Not your Amazon wish list.

Not the number of unread emails you’ve skillfully ignored.

Your state.

The emotional and mental frequency you choose to live from? That’s the setting life mirrors back at you. Which is both beautiful and wildly inconvenient. Because that means we don’t get to sit back with our arms crossed and say, “I’ll feel calm when everything around me finally chills out.”

Nope. You’ve got to become the calm first. Even when your Wi-Fi is down, your knee is making a new sound, and someone just ate the last thing in your fridge you were emotionally attached to. (R.I.P. to that peanut butter cup.)

See, life’s kind of like an improv actor—it needs you to set the scene. It peeks around the curtain every morning and asks, “Okay, boss. What are we feeling today?” And then it starts filling in the props and players to match.

You say: I feel grounded.

Life says: Cool. Let me bring you some stillness.

You say: I feel on edge and ready for everything to implode.

Life says: One chaotic curveball, coming right up!

It’s not karma. It’s not punishment. It’s resonance. The world starts tuning to the frequency you’re broadcasting. Which means, if you want a different station, you’ve got to change the song inside your own head first.

So what do you want to feel?

Not in the “once I get my life together and start using the planner I bought in 2021” kind of way. But in the “today is messy and my ankle’s taped up, but I still get to choose how I show up” kind of way.

Do you want peace? Then speak to yourself like someone worth comforting. Stop feeding the chaos like it’s a stray cat you don’t want but keep giving snacks to.

Do you want joy? Then let it show up in dumb little things—like a good stretch, an unexpected text, or the way your body sighs when you finally put your phone down and just breathe.

Do you want love? Then be loving. Not performative. Not codependent. Just… present. Kind. Unhurried. Like someone who knows their own worth and doesn’t need it echoed in someone else’s response time.

This isn’t about faking it. It’s about practicing it. Becoming it. Over and over again, until it becomes the water you swim in instead of the fire you keep trying to put out.

You don’t wait for life to feel good before you feel good.

You start small. You start now.

You say: “This is how I want to feel.”

And life, being the messy little mirror that it is, goes: “Oh. Okay. Got it. Let me show you what that looks like.”

And it will.

Maybe not immediately. Maybe not in the way you expected. But it always starts where you are.

So go ahead—set the tone.

Just make sure it’s one you want to dance to.