Monday’s beyond the mic… love and money… he said she said.
Last nights segment on Monday’s beyond the mic was Money and Love: He Said, She Said. And didn’t it feel like we were holding up a mirror and seeing all the different reflections staring back? Each voice carried its own truth, and together they painted the picture of just how complicated, messy, and necessary this conversation really is.
Mike reminded us that men want to be spoiled too. And let’s be real—he’s right. Dating has long been tilted one way: men as the providers, women as the romance. But balance means both people get to feel chosen, cared for, and invested in. Spoiling doesn’t have to mean pulling out a platinum card. Sometimes it’s as simple as planning the evening, remembering the small details, or saying, “Tonight, I’ve got you.” Men want the effort too, not just the expectation.
Then Thomas cut straight to the heart of it: money does not equate to love. You can buy the dinners, the flowers, the trips, the gifts, but if the intention isn’t there, if reciprocity isn’t present, it’s hollow. Provision without love is just performance. Provision with reciprocity, though—that’s when it becomes partnership.
Dr. Shaina pushed us into a different space, and that’s important too. She’s the outlier here, standing firm in a more traditional dynamic where the man pays. And you know what? That doesn’t make her wrong. It makes her clear. The problem isn’t in wanting tradition, or modernity, or anything in between—it’s in expecting everyone else to want exactly what we want. That’s how we hurt our own feelings. We forget that people aren’t mirrors. Just because someone’s love doesn’t look like ours doesn’t mean it isn’t valid—it just means it’s not our fit. Dating with intention means saying what you want out loud and respecting someone else’s choice, even if it’s not your own.
She also cracked the conversation wide open when she brought in the five love languages. Because money weaves its way into each one, but it never replaces them. Words of affirmation cost nothing, and yet we cheapen them when we only say “thank you” after the bill’s been paid. Acts of service might mean paying the rent, sure, but they also mean folding the laundry or making the coffee just the way your partner likes it. Gifts aren’t about price tags, they’re about thought, about remembering that small thing that says, “I see you.” Quality time isn’t about the reservation or the weekend getaway, it’s about showing up with your attention. And touch—touch is recession-proof. No amount of money can buy the comfort of a hand reaching for yours in the dark. Provision can amplify a love language, but it cannot substitute for it.
And then Dr. Elaine and Lady Dawn B grounded us back in what matters. This is not some grown-up game of tit for tat. Love is not a ledger, and it cannot survive in bookkeeping. If you’re keeping score, you’ve already lost the plot. Intention is what makes all the difference. A ten-dollar bouquet bought with thought will last longer in memory than a two-hundred-dollar dinner given with resentment. Provision without intention is empty. Provision with intention? That’s love in action.
Which brings us back to that infamous first date question—who should pay? Ask a Gen X, a Millennial, or a Gen Z, and you’ll get three different answers. Tradition says one thing, modernity another, TikTok throws its own spin into the mix. But maybe it was never really about who picked up the bill. Maybe it was always about how you showed up. Because the bill shows provision, but the tip—that shows character. Both together show intention.
And yes, dealbreakers still matter. Because when love and money collide, it’s never just about the dollars—it’s about alignment. Do our values line up? Do we both give? Do we both invest? Are we building something together, or are we just trading transactions?
At the end of it all, money pays the bills. Love pays attention. One without the other will test you. One without the other will leave you lonely. But when both stand side by side—reciprocal, intentional, balanced—that’s when you stop surviving and start thriving.
So tonight, in this conversation, we heard it all. Mike said, Thomas said, Dr. Shaina said, Dr. Elaine and Lady Dawn B said. And every piece mattered. Because love without money is tested. Money without love is lonely. But love with intention, reciprocity, and balance? That’s wealth beyond measure.